I don't want to brag, but this week I imparted the gift of speech on someone. Pretty cool huh? Not every day you get to do things like that. But before I get inundated with requests to hand out more gifts - like sight, bladder control, and the ability to transfer contacts, photos and music from an iPhone to a Samsung Galaxy, I'd better clarify this rather lofty statement.
The someone I referred to was in fact Roscoe, my ventriloquist doll. The mechanism that controls his mouth movement had been broken for months, and opening and shutting it by hand was detracting from my already poor act. So I fixed it.
And... while I'm making clarifications, I should also mention that the 'mechanism' was actually a piece of string.
So I'm not really a miracle worker, just a chick with a pair of pliers and a screwdriver. (Sorry! But let's face it - you wouldn't have clicked through for a 'I fixed my doll' headline, would you?)
The someone I referred to was in fact Roscoe, my ventriloquist doll. The mechanism that controls his mouth movement had been broken for months, and opening and shutting it by hand was detracting from my already poor act. So I fixed it.
And... while I'm making clarifications, I should also mention that the 'mechanism' was actually a piece of string.
So I'm not really a miracle worker, just a chick with a pair of pliers and a screwdriver. (Sorry! But let's face it - you wouldn't have clicked through for a 'I fixed my doll' headline, would you?)

Mildly disturbing picture of Roscoe laid out, waiting for me to get to work.

Why do I have a ventriloquist doll, when at best I'm a ventrilomumblist? He sometimes comes on school visits with me, to demonstrate how listening to your 'inner critic' helps to make your writing better, and luckily, the kids don't seem to notice that I'm not very good!
Why 'Roscoe'? Firstly, because it's the sort of name that wants to be a 'cool dude', but is still guided by the rules (just what I need in an editor). And secondly, because it's easy to say without moving your lips! - You tried it, didn't you? Comment below if you did!